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Hey, beautiful one. I’ve been observing you for some time. You always exist on the positive side of life. You exude happiness like bursts of color. Deep as sunshine, your joy blooms in emotional warmth.
But lately, I perceive you’ve lost your sparkle. You can usually pull yourself out of one, but this melancholy silence is weighing you down. It’s like a heavy cloak over your shoulders. Though it clings, you can’t find the warmth you need. I’ve seen your silvery tears trickling through, giving away any pretense of self-defense. It’s hard to want something that much and feels it is beyond your reach.
Have you ever considered why you want what you can’t have? You suffocate underneath the weight of this seemingly eternal nothingness. Unbeknownst to you, the perfect day has suddenly lulled to a stop. You plunged into an inner abyss of darkness and hollowness. When the old feelings flash across your awareness, you ache under the oppressive force of silence descending upon you.
When you’ve invested so much emotionally, it will likely hurt this badly. It will require a considerable push to muster up a feeling of courage or energy to walk away. Even if you’re aware that the price of holding on is too high, it’s not always easy to leave.
Heartbreak is a part of life, and insecurity is not your best friend. It feels like the world is out to hurt you, but it’s not. Understand that this isn’t personal. Don’t let others’ behavior dull your sparkle. Allow nothing that has happened to reduce the best of you.
Others may or may not need to know how you feel. But whatever you do, avoid blaming. No one is born difficult, and that’s why we can adapt. Adaptation can be both positive and negative. How they behave with you is how they behave with the rest of the world. They might not understand their impact on you. Just because it’s painfully apparent that they are hurting you doesn’t mean it is to them.
At this point, there may not be much you can do to change the situation, but you can certainly change how it affects you. That doesn’t mean you’re selling out what’s true for you to justify what someone else has done. Not at all.
Instead, it means expanding your awareness, creating the opportunity for your mind to become quieter so that you can receive more precise inner guidance. Instead of being obsessed with the external, you turn inward and tap into the infinite power of your psyche, soul, and being. It’s the spark that rekindles your soul.
Regardless of what it seems, trust that resolution is not always necessary. It’s challenging to be uncertain, but sometimes that’s what you need. Not everything makes sense.
Accept what is. No one deserves a difficult relationship, but if that’s what has to happen, don’t let the experience ruin you. Believe you can flourish despite it.
If you need to be silent and choose not to engage, take the time to indulge. You are not here to convince anyone of your reasons. You don’t need to. There’s nothing to prove. The only way to heal is to deal with the void you carry in your heart and soul. No one and nothing can do it for you. Only you can heal yourself and close that void.
If it gets too painful, change how you look at the situation. Whatever you decide is best for you, own it, not because of what someone else has said but because you feel that’s needful.
Set boundaries and protect them fiercely. Do this for you. As long as the other person holds the key to your emotional jail cell, you are granting yourself the license to remain invested. They may not care, so learn to detach emotionally and press reset. It is a process. It’s not about turning you into a different person but into whom you truly are.
Nobody is all bad or all good. You don’t have to take the blame, and you don’t have to shove them down that tunnel, either. Recognize that it’s just a phase. Ask yourself, what can you learn from the situation? Focus on that and blow out the rest like confetti glitter.
When the time finally comes for you to close the door, don’t leave angry. Anger brings regret because it makes you feel like things are left unsaid. You convince yourself that unless you get the specific resolution, you’ll never be able to move on. That’s an illusion.
Even if you got it, it seldom leads to a feel-good ending. Chances are, it may even lead to more confusion. So be willing to cut the cord on your own. Feeling entitled gets you nowhere in life. Just because a relationship is ending, it doesn’t have to go down the road of bitterness or anger. Walk away with strength, dignity, and love because those qualities can shine through you.
Lastly, accept that there will always be those whose love and approval come abundantly, even though it’s not apparent at the moment. You are your own best healer. How you narrate your fiction enables you to navigate your emotions and find your way through the broken pieces. Solitude is without frontiers.
They say you come out of this experience stronger, and I won’t deny that. But you will come out wiser too. Your heart will open to love again, but it’s no longer for everyone. Those who don’t appreciate your scars will never have the privilege to see you shine. The luminosity reflects the tears you’ve shed, the faraway stars you’ll wish upon over and over again.
Life is like a river. It moves through beautiful places but has no choice but to go on and on and on. Embrace the flow.
This post originally appeared here on Medium.
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| FROM THE ARCHIVES |
A prose poem.
A prose poem.
A prose poem.
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Thank you so much for this heart-warming post. I loved it. So much relatable. Yes, when we separate the situation from feelings it shows us the light. I have been too dark to know when light arrives and when I see its sight... I just go ahead and hug it :) Sending love and blessings to you :)