Don't Let The Things You Can't Control Hold You Back From What You Can
Let go and trust the process
Photo by wendel moretti from Pexels
I was stuck, but I didn’t know it. I tend to hold on to things long after their time has come and gone. I’d pretend that everything remained the way they were instead of facing the reality that nothing lasts. Clinging made me feel that I had a white-knuckle grip on what I was afraid of losing. I held on till my brain could barely function properly, but I didn’t care. Living in denial was oh so sweet. I quietly accepted that pain was a small price to pay even when it didn’t feel right.
Of course, I always have a choice, but it was either the wrong choice or none at all. I was afraid. Afraid of losing. Afraid of detachment. Afraid of letting go. Grief and heartache were the bridge that connected me to my past, to the people I love, and to the memories I treasured. It was the expression of my love and the impression that held the story etched in my heart.
The emotions I felt were proof that what happened greatly affected me. Things can never return to how it was before, so I held on to the mental image I stored in my mind. Every time I grieve, I return to the scene in the past. I didn’t want to lose that because I didn’t want to lose my part in that story.
My heart no longer recognized the person I had become. The weight of sadness hung over me like a dark cloud before the storm. It was impossible to see through it. I was tired and close to breaking. I knew I didn’t want to live like this anymore. I wanted to feel the sun on my skin. I wanted to swim upward and breathe above water, abandoning the false hope that kept the memory alive in me. I wanted to release the suffering and take a step forward.
Cleaning house was not what I had planned. I was not motivated, but I could not shoulder the heaviness anymore. I cleared away the cobwebs of memories and dusted off the remains of yesteryears. For a brief moment, everything scattered in the air like confetti dust, imploring me to let them stay. There were flashbacks of the times I went through, the emotions I felt, and the experiences I had.
As I stood my ground, the images blurred between past and present, and slowly faded into obscurity. The ropes that held me down unraveled and gave way one by one. Instead of grappling with fear, my soul became lighter. For the first time in a long time, I noticed the faded colors of life transform into vibrant hues. I started discovering beauty in places I had missed.
Memories take on a new meaning now as I let go. Before, familiar surroundings trigger spontaneous remembering that spurs uncontrollable emotions. As the pain starts to ease, I relate to memories more positively. I accepted that experiences and encounters, including those who are part of them, were never meant to last.
Life has a way of ensuring that we get to explore this journey to the fullest. There wouldn’t be much excitement if it were a straight, calm road. Every curve, every stop, and every wrong turn impart meaning to each phase of life. With every low, I learned to appreciate the high moments. With every chaos, I learned to embrace the blissful times.
Out of that lesson, I discovered what makes me smile and fills my heart with joy. When life shows up at my door, I treasure the present moment and bask in its warmth. When the validity of a moment expires and people walk out of my life, I stop insisting on my ways and let nature take its course. I graciously release them, feeling grateful for those fleeting moments of opportunity.
Gradually I quit fighting over what’s not worthy of my attention because who am I to dictate that life should head this way or that. Life is like a river, and trying to control it only brings suffering. The best is to let it flow where it may. Between what’s wanted and what’s not, my power lies in my perception.
Not every stop sign indicates an ending. Some paths end and diverge into a new beginning. I remind myself that even if I’m losing right now doesn’t mean I’ll experience loss in the long run. Just as beginnings and endings may focus on the same point, they head down in opposite directions. I have to keep trusting because I won’t know what’s waiting on the other side until I get there.
With every step I take moving forward, I continue to hold on. This time, it’s no longer me holding on to the pain but the memories. Regardless of whether the journey was pleasant or unpleasant, the fork in the road from the past led me to where I am today — a little stronger, wiser, and more resilient. And for that, I have nothing but gratitude for every event, person, and experience I encounter on this life’s path.
Letting go isn’t easy, but holding on will likely hurt more. You are in control of your own peace. In the end, it’s going to be worth it.
Thank you for joining me this week. If you’ve enjoyed this piece, do leave a comment or feedback. And check out the selected stories below.
| HIGHLIGHTS |
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Perhaps to find the meaning of life does not require that we sail along the gust chasing after a silver lining. It is right there, concealed within the fleeting apathy of inconsequential moments. The kind we’re willing to trade-off in a heartbeat.
| FROM THE ARCHIVES |
Every scene is imaginary, though vividly captured, goes directly to memory, bypassing the visual perception. Here, life is felt and not seen, lived and not endured.
We’re never created to survive in isolation. Stop seeing yourself as an isolated island that focuses solely on personal gains. You are meant to thrive in love and connection by becoming a significant contributor to the collective.
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Have a Purposeful Life Now!
You speak to my heart, Esther.
On day when I decided I can't go on with my relationship. Too much clinging on both sides that led to a breaking point.
Your writing teaches me one important thing. To live and argue from the heart and not from the head. Thank you, Esther!
Big hug from New Zealand ❤