We All Started Off As Strangers And End Up The Same Again
We are not friends or lovers but strangers with same memories
Photo by Kha Ruxury from Pexels
Our eyes met across the room. I felt the uneasiness rising. I started to fidget, trying to act normal, whatever that meant. It was a strange and awkward feeling. Was it the excitement I felt? How should I react when I bumped into the person who once shared my life, laughter, secrets, and memorable moments? The person who made up a large part of my universe where, once, nothing can separate us. As if by a twist of fate, we walked past each other like strangers. Both are indifferent to the fact that there was a deep connection between us.
It was funny how the world continues and flows right along, completely oblivious. These two people who tried hard to ignore each other once thrived in a world of their own. It saddens me how life plays itself out, how relationships cycle. We all started as strangers, colliding with each other's universe. We became lovers, besties, family members we never had. Then we ended up right back where we started — as strangers again.
I have never stopped knowing them. It is impossible to forget the person who shared my hopes and dreams, who knew all my fears and insecurities. The ones whom I felt safe to undress my soul, to peel back the layers, and laid my heart open.
All of a sudden, everything stops. As if awakened from a dream, there is some semblance of memory still vivid in my head. But the scene now appears so far away. I continue to live in delusion, believing they will be back, until one day it hits me.
When did I become so heartless? How does one develop such apathy that I can completely ignore the people that have been a big part of my life? What happened to those heartfelt whisperings? Those midnight calls, random bursts of laughter, and promises uttered? Did it all mean nothing? Was it out of necessity as we went along with what was happening on the spur of the moment? Do we forget birthdays and anniversaries of those who mean a lot to us? Do they ever become ordinary days with no significance?
I guess I adapt, learning forgetfulness like a skill I need to master. I pack my schedule with people, events, and activities. I fear getting sucked into a whirling vortex that will pull me into a downward spiral. When life shines a spotlight on reality, I retreat behind self-protective barriers. I didn't want to risk exposing my brokenness. Life didn’t leave me much choice. The ending of a relationship does not come with a manual guiding me as I step through the door. It does not show me what to expect and how to go from here.
Was it genuine love we experienced in that brief moment? When time freezes and the world stop spinning on its axis? Then we would have lived forever within that span of time. I don't believe we can undo our love for someone. Regardless of the pain, we may need to get over them and start moving forward, but we never fall out of love. If we can retract love, is it genuine love in the first place?
The truth is, nothing ever ends. Some days, we will find ourselves in familiar places. There will be a sudden whiff of scent wafting out from somewhere. We may come across an old song that transports us back to a time that now seems so distant. Any sensory experiences can trigger nostalgia. There is always a familiar lingering splintered into the soul, haunting us. There are traces of ourselves left behind in the places we have been.
When my soul aches and my eyes glisten, I do not rush towards them in excitement. I avoided them. I walked past like I was invisible, and I did not know them. Strange as it sounds, it felt natural to force myself to forget. Fear keeps me wishing, and insecurity keeps me hoping. What I long for is sitting on the other side of the fence. My mind keeps telling me to find the strength to push through and let the past go. When what is apparent is invisible to the eyes, I learn to see through the heart.
Whether intuitive or not, all feelings are valid. It is sad knowing they, too, appear to have forgotten. Like me, they pretended that our world did not collide. A part of us did not detach and merge into each other. But it will always be true that the love and old wounds we left behind become parts of us strewn across the cosmos.
The pain lessens through a period if we bury them deep within, but the internal battle continues. The mind is definite of the truth, but the heart refuses to accept, fights on, impervious to reality. Seasons change, and time continues to move forward. But lodge within the recesses of our minds, there will always be the silent cries that won't ever go away.
If you enjoy this week’s reflection, do leave a comment or feedback below. In the meantime, enjoy this week's stories.
| HIGHLIGHTS |
A prose poem — to love is to hurt. We can't have one without the other. A person who has not been hurt has not truly been in love.
Life does not consist of two parts — wholeness and brokenness. No. Life is wholeness. It comprises pleasure and pain, perfection and destruction. Separation is a conflict existing only in our minds because contention is birth out of our desires and fears.
A prose poem about determination to rebuild life after trauma and brokenness. Life won't give up on you if you don't give up on life.
You’re not an artist because someone thinks you are one. You’re an artist because you tap into your stream of creativity and execute an idea into reality. If nothing else, you fulfill your life mission by doing what you need to do with the gift afforded you.
| FROM THE ARCHIVES |
We’re capable of love because that’s our nature. The source is love in its purest form, and we are an extension of that. We don’t love because we want to get something out of the other person. We love others because that’s what we can offer from our internal fuel tank.
A prose poem: Running away is easy but not knowing where you're heading is hard.
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That’s it for this week. Talk to you again real soon. Until then, you can find me on Medium, Twitter, Substack, or you can make my day by buying me coffee.
Have a Purposeful Life Now!