When They Say You've Changed That Means You're On The Right Path
Unless you change you're not growing
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
As we embark on a journey of change, there will come a time when we become uncomfortable with our old selves. We may evolve into someone we don’t recognize. What is more difficult is when we outgrow people, places, or the life we thought we wanted. But that’s part of the process. We discover who we can become along the way.
I’ve changed. I’m supposed to, am I not?Â
I gather experiences, adapt, take on new paths, and move on to new ventures. I can’t go back to who I was. Regardless of age, we’re always in progress. Like everyone else, I am continuously becoming, reaching toward a better self in the next stage of life.Â
Just because I’m not the same person I was before doesn’t mean I’m scattered or uncommitted. That means I’ve outgrown old habits and now view life differently with new eyes. Change often comes hard and fast. Life shakes me up and forces me into transformation. I lose pieces of myself along the path of discovery, creating space for a new person to emerge. Â
Unfortunately, not everyone celebrates this stage with me. People get upset when I change without understanding that is the motive all along. I strive for growth, adapting, and adjusting to ensure I stay afloat through life’s conditions that constantly pull me down.
We’ve heard it mentioned countless times that only change is constant. To expect someone not to change is like expecting the sun not to set at the end of the day because we want to hold on to what is desirable. Regardless of the outcome, inevitably, a big part of life is beyond our control.
To get upset because someone we love has changed is to claim that somehow we should have a say in the development process of another person’s life. That’s not practical. We are all in charge of our own lives. The best thing we can do is take control of the only person we have full power over — ourselves.Â
Why do we expect people to remain the same forever? When someone we love changes, we’re asked to take a path we never planned to walk. That often requires that we change as well. We are more likely to see changes as a threat if we’re not ready.
I get it. We crave familiarity. There is a sense of comfort in knowing what to expect from another. I wish everyone I know remains the way they are. That way, we can continue as best friends, confidants, and soulmates until the end of time. But that would be unrealistic and selfish on my part. That is like expecting us to confine ourselves to a static life, denying any possibility of growth but secure on past experiences only for one purpose — to feel safe. I do not wish that upon myself, and it’s selfish to expect that from others.Â
Nothing lasts. That isn’t good or bad. That’s just how life is. Sometimes we blame ourselves for the unfavorable change that occurred in others. At other times, we blame them for changing. They are no longer the person we used to recognize. Instead of getting to know the person they are becoming, we held on to the person they once were.
Nothing anyone does or doesn’t do can prevent change from happening. It’s true that relationship creates identity and make our lives meaningful. When shifts occur and cause stress, we feel like we’re losing a part of ourselves. Regardless of the prevailing circumstances, we need to accept that we are unique individuals. It’s up to us to create a fulfilling life independent of another person.
I understand not everyone grows at the same pace. That doesn’t mean any of us are doing something wrong. We may have started the journey at the same point, but somewhere down the road, our paths diverge. When priorities change, life changes as well. It doesn’t have to feel like we’re walking off a cliff blindfolded.
That’s why I find it necessary to set boundaries, not to keep others out, but to let them know I’m serious about my growth. I’m not immune. Change can jolt us in uncomfortable ways. It makes us feel like we’ve lost control. At times like these, I learn to let go. I refuse to accept that my intention makes me a bad person. There’s wisdom in knowing when to stop exerting energy trying to make things work when they clearly won’t.
Change does not have to be a nasty occurrence. We can’t stop change from happening, especially not in another person. The world often forces us to change anyway, so instead of resisting, we can change alongside them and offer support if we’re willing.Â
Of course, I’ll make mistakes. Somewhere down the road, I might regret my decisions and may have to apologize with a tear-stained face. Everything comes at a price. Would it be better for me to live in fear of change and not attempt at all? I won’t know a mistake until it happens. Like everything in life, there is a purpose for every wrong turn. It allows us to pause, reflect, and reset. Should I then let fear stop me from moving forward?
We’re never the same person twice. We keep exploring, failing, learning, and growing because life is a storybook of change.
Life is neither black nor white. There are countless times when we do triumph in shades of gray. It’s okay even when others don’t understand because we will evolve past those who are only comfortable with the expired version of ourselves.
The next time someone comes along and says you’ve changed, be confident that you’re on the right path. To where? I guess the correct answer is everywhere.
If you enjoy this week’s reflection, do leave a comment or feedback below. In the meantime, enjoy this week's stories.
| HIGHLIGHTS |
My discontentment revealed there was non-acceptance of that same trait in me. It means within me lacked harmony. When I harbor anger and resentment, I express those same emotions towards myself. My consciousness shows me the areas I need to make peace with myself.
A prose poem — Maybe progress isn’t about fixing, looking back. It’s about moving forward, transfiguring as life unfolds.
Throughout our lives, we get to meet different versions of ourselves. There is no fixed version unless we decide it is so. Whether it’s a relationship, career, emotional or physical health, there is always the next level.
| FROM THE ARCHIVES |
Life is fragile, yet it is that same quality that makes it beautiful. We can choose to be happy intentionally, to look beyond the surface of the everyday mundane moments, and to be mindful of the treasures we already possess.
A prose poem — Sometimes the things that hurt the most are the things that will make you stronger.
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Have a Purposeful Life Now!
Dearest friend,
Take a bow for speaking up my mind too. Yes, change is inevitable and it's the only force in this world that makes us grow. Sometimes when I sit with my past, I often tell myself what would have happened if I was with the one I truly wanted to. And now my soul tells to my heart 'Nothing great would have happened". Because I was destroying myself to keep someone else happy. Since, the day this realization has come what do I deserve ah change feels like my soulmate lol. It took me many years but I ain't looking back. Sending you love, blessings and peace :)