Photo by Demeter Attila from Pexels
He sits across the table, eyes staring out into space. It is the kind that says although the lights are on, no one is home right now. Gone is the enthusiasm, the excitement, the laughter, the curiosity that echoes through the passage of life. The sparks have gone.
Adulting is hard. I should know because I was there and still am, traveling down this uncertain path that I’ve waited to arrive my entire life. I wanted to grow up quickly, to get out of the way. I wanted to earn my ticket to freedom — freedom from everyone and everything, without accountability, to do what I want when I want.
I loved the whole idea of adulting, and I could not wait to grow up. Then it happened. Suddenly I was out on my own. Nothing prepared me for what was waiting on the other side.
Now, sitting across from this young man who feels lost in life, I fear what the world may have in store for him. Perhaps I’m a pessimist for assuming life is cruel. It isn’t — life just is. Life is not cruel or kind. It’s a process, but it is unlike anything we expected. If we are not careful, life can crush us, bringing us to our knees, leaving us by the roadside to fend for ourselves.
While life presents numerous challenges, many have learned to navigate their way through the windy, rocky path. Should I then conclude that life is tough while watching others climb their way out of the pit? Sure, I get it. It is not a fair game, and that’s why we have to watch out for the entitlement trap. The outcome largely depends on us. The amount of resilience we cultivate within will determine how far we can go.
I listen attentively, as he talks about his struggles without appearing insensitive. I understand because I was in his shoes. There were times I cried in despair, lifted my hands in helplessness, stuck in places with no way out, and screamed when no one was listening. It was like having an invisible wall slammed into my face.
After many rounds of being beaten, knocked down, and defeated by life, I discovered I am not alone. Everyone passes through this stage at various levels and intensities. What makes us all different is how we handle the situation and what becomes of us along the way.
My heart goes out to this young friend of mine. How do I tell him that ultimately, everything will be okay, but not before life strips him down? Until the only thing that remains is his determination and courage to stand back up.
Without sounding cold and uncaring, how do I tell him he must keep his head up regardless because all those challenges producing resistance now will develop into inner fortitude. How can I be sure that life will make a hero out of him? The truth is, I can't.
We won’t know our potential until life squeezes and pushes us to the corner. That's when we realize we have more inside us than we dare to imagine. For me to push him over the edge may seem unkind, but protecting him appears dangerous, even harmful to his evolution.
I can urge him to get over it or, at least, to hold on because the confusion and the pain will eventually end. But who wants to hear that when they are in the middle of a difficult situation? At this point, people don't want advice. They want solutions.
I fear the world would tear him up and break his heart, but isn’t that what the world will do after all? To me, to him, and everyone else? But most of all, I want to tell him despite all that, he is going to come out of the entire ordeal, heal, whole, and better.
I want to be supportive without projecting my fears on him. Everyone deserves the space to explore independently through their lens. Life will respond to how we perceive the world around us. There are aspects of life we can only discover through experience and exposure. The world looks very different depending on where we stand. No two person sees everything the same.
I want him to know only he can pull himself out of that tight spot. All I can do is lend an ear, guiding him to follow his heart and encouraging him to come up with solutions that are right for him. Life is tough. It is for everyone. Amidst the climb, he must convince himself the view at the top is what makes it all worthwhile.
He may not understand it now, but I’m certain someday he will. Someday soon.
I’d love to hear what you think. Leave a comment or feedback below. In the meantime, enjoy this week's stories.
| HIGHLIGHTS |
A short-form prose poem about letting go of obsessive thoughts.
How you perceive your surroundings affect how life will eventually play out. That’s because everything in life is malleable, depending on your perception of it.
A short-form prose poem about the creative power of words.
How long should we hold on before we accept it’s time to move on? There are only two paths available when we are stuck in the cobweb of life. We can choose to embrace reality as it unfolds by settling for peace of mind. Or we could continue to struggle against the universe and be miserable.
| FROM THE ARCHIVES |
Do I really have to concern myself about what others think? It’s none of my business. More often than not, it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them — their conditioning, their judgments, and their expectations.
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That’s it for this week. Talk to you again real soon. Until then, you can find me on Medium, Twitter, Substack, or you can make my day by buying me coffee.
Have a Purposeful Life Now!