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Guilt and remorse bring about a lot of distress. I know because it happened to me. I was bitter with the world and disappointed with myself. I didn’t like the person I had become. I let people down, especially those who believed in me. I didn’t understand how it could happen, but it did.
Life is such that you will screw people over when you choose to live boldly and authentically. How often do we hear people say that we should not chase after the approval of others? That we should live passionately true to ourselves. Our self-expression matters, and we should value our voice and be authentic.
So I did. I assume complete power living the way I want, without compromise, trusting that I know what’s best for me regardless of what others think. Before I knew it, I was on autopilot, doing whatever pleases me, barely considering the choices I make. As long as I follow my heart, I’ll never go wrong. Right?
I might have seen it coming. All I did was live true to myself. I reckon withholding my desires and expectations would limit me. So I might as well live out loud and get honest about my feelings and wants.
Unfortunately, I slipped. I made terrible choices. I end up disappointing myself because of the pain I inflicted on others, especially those I care about. The thought of my error caused so much grief. I beat myself up for what happened. How could my honest intention to live true to myself backfire?
If you think living true to yourself means it’s perfectly okay to be selfish, you’ve missed the point. Of course, you should take care of yourself and your happiness first. You learn to shine in your confidence and do what makes you happy. That’s fine. Don’t forget there are people around you who accommodate what you want and contribute to your happiness.
Relationships require a degree of compromise, whether friendship, family, or colleagues. You do whatever it takes on your part to keep the bond strong by expressing your appreciation and communicating openly. Taking an effort to show others that they are worthy of your time also cultivates bonding because, at any time, they would do the same for you.
Those who love us are more vulnerable to us, and sometimes we cause them pain without realizing it. I ruminate on my mistakes, wishing I could turn back the clock. Confrontation is hard when we’ve hurt a loved one because it makes us feel horrible and guilty. When we hurt others, we are in fact, hurting ourselves. We will likely go through psychological pain that causes us to feel unworthy of love. That is simply not true.
We are all capable of hurting others. We have disappointed those we care about. All of us slip up. We make bad choices and let people down. We have disagreements with our loved ones and blow our top over the most minor, insignificant things. We turn down opportunities and disregard advice we know is for our good. Sometimes we fall short of our expectations.
That does not mean we’re bad people or that we’re inconsiderate. It doesn’t mean we have set out to hurt others intentionally. Perhaps we get distracted, and that causes perceptual distortions. We forgot the importance of taking a moment to stand in another person’s shoes and look at things from their perspective.
Whatever the factors, you likely did your best at that moment, even though you may have reacted without a thought. We are flawed human beings. Despite our best attempts, we can’t ensure we’ll always do the right thing. We need to stop judging ourselves because of our actions.
The sad part is you can’t undo what has happened, so there’s no point ruminating over it. Your unwillingness to let go creates an obstacle that prevents you from receiving love. You are not your mistakes, so cut yourself some slack. Acceptance enables you to acknowledge your mistake and move on.
Whether the other party forgives you or not is beyond your control, but you can undoubtedly control your action. Learn from the experience and grow because there are no mistakes in life. Everything is a learning process that opens the door for you to discover your true self.
Regardless of how you feel, remember that you are enough and are deserving of love. Allow some time to pass if necessary, and give yourself the freedom of forgiveness. Know for sure that you are on your way to becoming a better person because of it.
♥♥♥
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to visit. I appreciate you. Feel free to leave a comment or share your thoughts below. Summer has just started. I hope you take this opportunity to soak up some good sunshine and happy moments. Till we meet again in the next edition, find me on Medium, Twitter, and Substack. If you’re feeling generous, a cup of coffee would surely make my day!
Have a Purposeful Life Now!
So many beautiful affirmations in this article. I had been there where I was so hurt that I became bitter but not to others but to myself. I became a lot bitter and started criticizing myself as if I was never worthy of life. I walked a long way away from that thought process and finally I could be proud of myself because every experience was making me this strong. Now, I talk with myself so gracefully that I cannot think of being rude with others. I rather depart my ways than breaking their faith in life.